Talk:Pumpkin Moon/@comment-24143898-20170730050820
yeah so I did promise that i'd do the next part of this comment (after so long... apologies, life is busy). regardless, here's the next comment for chapters nine to eleven (i'll do twelve/thirteen/fourteen and fifteen/sixteen/seventeen in future parts, considering that i'm doing this in groups of three chapters at a time) anyways, now that I've got that out of the way, here is the comment! SPOILERS Chapters Nine, Ten and Eleven: Bushie strikes me as being a little bit nervous around all these cats that she doesn't know. Understandable, really, considering that she's just come across them. Apart from that, I think I like Bushie so far, she seems like a nice enough character. (oops I accidentally published the comment whoops xD rip me) oh jeez Shade has horns did I only just realize that oR. (man this world is so unique and it's cool) Anyway, Shade himself is very... mysterious, for some reason. Yeah, I get this vibe that he's a good cat, but I feel as though there's something holding him back (could it be something to do with the 'power' that he gave to Petal? idk) in a way. There's just something there, idk. (there's a few minor spelling errors in Chapter Nine, so you mayyyy want to check for those? nothing that stops me from understanding anything but there is multiple there ^^) Cheddar. Hmm, there's a theme there with those names... ehehe. Ohhh, Shade's definitely hiding something... I can see it, when he almost says another name... hmmmmmm. I wonder what he's doing?? I feel he's up to something now, and now I'm starting to0 doubt whether he really is a good guy or not. Either way, he's interesting. Omg Petal xD that has to be the craziest entrance that I have ever seen a cat make, I'm imagining it in my head and smiling rn haha. She strikes me as a little bit... goofy? idk, she seems pretty excitable, from what I've just seen of her at the end of Chapter Ten. WAIT DID THE TWOLEGS CALL PETAL FLUFFY PFFT Anyways, from Chapter Eleven I feel as though I know more about who Gouda is now. Would I be correct in saying that Gouda was born a kittypet and then ran off, or...? it's not super clear in that chapter, but to me that's the impression that I'm getting. As for Gouda's father, he seems nice enough - likeable, to say the least. I don't really feel he has to do with heaps of the story at the moment though - for some reason he strikes me as being a little naïve. Overall, those chapters were pretty good! The writing was good - in some places I felt that there was too much dialogue and not enough description, but that might just be your style of writing. I'll be coming back to finish commenting on the story at some point - oh, and do write more when you have the opportunity!! It's a good story <3 END SPOILERS